Since high school graduation eleven years ago, I have changed quite a bit. But then again, there are some things that haven't changed. I'd like to say that I still have a pretty sunny disposition and I really like to see the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. Back then, when I graduated, I had some serious body image issues that I still struggle with. Back then, however, I had no reason to be worried or ashamed of the way I looked. I was super hot! (Relatively speaking of course.) I had a teeny tiny 24 inch waist, teeny tiny boobies (boo), and sported nicely curved hips. Since that time I have gained about forty pounds (as of last year it was almost 60 gained, so yay me for dropping that number!) and popped out two children. My skin, clearly not genetically enhanced by Mr.Fantastic or Stretch Armstrong, did not gracefully handle the amount of stretching that occurred during the weight gain or the two pregnancies.
Last year I bought myself a tankini to help resolve the issue of the belly button and stretch marks. Really I can handle the stretch marks. The thing that kills me is this imploded crater that is permanently stuck in the middle of my gut. Well, this year when I put on the tankini I was shocked to discover that the dang thing is *drumroll please* TOO BIG! OK, so now what? I put on this bikini that I bought a few years ago and only wore when we had a backyard pool of our own. Of course it fit, but then I'm stuck with the problem of the belly button. I can't possibly show it to anyone. What would they think?
After wrestling with my own brain for two freakin weeks I came to the conclusion that:
1.If it weren't for the offensive belly button, I would be totally ok with showing off my tummy. EFF the stretch marks, I've got two kids!
2. I'm proud of the progress that I've made and my midsection is really not too shabby.
3. I need to GET OVER IT and realize that no amount of working out or sit ups is going to get rid of it. So.
I wore the bikini. TWICE. First at the lake with a group of friends. This was an all day process. First I had the bikini on under my tank top, then the tank top got folded up while I was sitting in the sun and pulled back down when anyone came near me, then I said screw it and took the tank top off and then I said oh screw it again and the shorts came off. The second time was at a Fourth of July barbecue with family and friends. And you know what? I was okay. Nobody ran screaming. Nobody pointed and laughed. (Thank goodness.)
I'm taking what I've been given and dealing with it. And it feels great.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Feelin the burn...
Yikes, it's been almost a month since my last post! Since my last appearance, we have been a bunch of busy Browns. Since Father's Day we have been camping for a total of 7 nights and 9 days. That's three weekends in a row. THREE WEEKENDS. In. A. Row. Do you know how much laundry that is? O.M.G. I've done a lot of laundry these past few weeks. We have a break coming up. From camping that is. We still have a lot of activities planned, they're just less involved and we get to sleep in our own beds.
On the running front, I've been trying to log at least two outings per week. My half marathon training kicks off next week and I gotta be honest, I'm not looking forward to it. It's HOT and this year I'm lacking a live-in nanny to allow my husband and I to run after the sun goes down. Boo. The nice part is that I'm getting a nice little tan from my efforts. The downside to this is that my tan line hits just below my knee since I run in capris. And since I decided that I'm wearing shorts this summer, my two-tone legs are a sight to see. I finally broke down and got a running skirt last week though. I decided on a running skirt because my thighs still rub together so my shorts like to creep up. Not only is this super uncomfortable, but it's also not cute at all. The handy dandy skirt feature acts as a cloak to cover the uncuteness of the creepy shorts.
I've been running with Isaiah on his bike and Justice in the jogger. We just have to make sure we head out earlier in the morning before the heat kicks in. Summer is definitely here and isn't messing around. Today we left at around nine. It was already 78*. Since I've just become used to the notion of wearing any kind of shorts in public, running in my skirt was really a scary thought. I felt exposed and vulnerable. On top of the heat and the massive amounts of exposed skin, I went to use my inhaler before we left the house only to discover that it was empty. I should have just given up at that point. But nope, I'm kind of stubborn like that I guess and headed out anyway.
On our last outing, I got upset with Isaiah for not taking extra caution when crossing business driveways. So I reminded him before this trip. Of course, he took this as the prime opportunity to show me how well he can listen. He took it to the extreme and actually stopped his bike before each driveway, like screeching halt-I almost ran into him kind of stop. He was hot too, so we had to stop a lot to drink the Gatorade I brought along with us. We saw a car accident, pretty big one, on our way and got to see the firetrucks, ambulances, and clean up crew show up and get to work. He was pretty excited about that, but it was just one more thing to distract him. He kept speeding up, then slowing down to a crawl pace, then almost falling off the curb.
So in conclusion, it was not an awesome run. Uneven pace, lots of stopping, ridiculous amounts of chafing, and definitely out of breath. We covered 2.7 miles in 36 minutes. It wasn't a shining moment in my running career but I'm glad to have gotten out and completed the miles.
On the running front, I've been trying to log at least two outings per week. My half marathon training kicks off next week and I gotta be honest, I'm not looking forward to it. It's HOT and this year I'm lacking a live-in nanny to allow my husband and I to run after the sun goes down. Boo. The nice part is that I'm getting a nice little tan from my efforts. The downside to this is that my tan line hits just below my knee since I run in capris. And since I decided that I'm wearing shorts this summer, my two-tone legs are a sight to see. I finally broke down and got a running skirt last week though. I decided on a running skirt because my thighs still rub together so my shorts like to creep up. Not only is this super uncomfortable, but it's also not cute at all. The handy dandy skirt feature acts as a cloak to cover the uncuteness of the creepy shorts.
I've been running with Isaiah on his bike and Justice in the jogger. We just have to make sure we head out earlier in the morning before the heat kicks in. Summer is definitely here and isn't messing around. Today we left at around nine. It was already 78*. Since I've just become used to the notion of wearing any kind of shorts in public, running in my skirt was really a scary thought. I felt exposed and vulnerable. On top of the heat and the massive amounts of exposed skin, I went to use my inhaler before we left the house only to discover that it was empty. I should have just given up at that point. But nope, I'm kind of stubborn like that I guess and headed out anyway.
On our last outing, I got upset with Isaiah for not taking extra caution when crossing business driveways. So I reminded him before this trip. Of course, he took this as the prime opportunity to show me how well he can listen. He took it to the extreme and actually stopped his bike before each driveway, like screeching halt-I almost ran into him kind of stop. He was hot too, so we had to stop a lot to drink the Gatorade I brought along with us. We saw a car accident, pretty big one, on our way and got to see the firetrucks, ambulances, and clean up crew show up and get to work. He was pretty excited about that, but it was just one more thing to distract him. He kept speeding up, then slowing down to a crawl pace, then almost falling off the curb.
So in conclusion, it was not an awesome run. Uneven pace, lots of stopping, ridiculous amounts of chafing, and definitely out of breath. We covered 2.7 miles in 36 minutes. It wasn't a shining moment in my running career but I'm glad to have gotten out and completed the miles.
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