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Thursday, August 25, 2011

The green-eyed monster track record is not looking so fantastical. Last blog? Oooohhhh...over a month ago. That tells you roughly how many miles I have ran since then. Yep, big fat goose egg. Truth be told, I thought I could handle running with my kid on a bike in front of me and I was wrong. The stress of being with him, watching double time as he crossed driveways and almost went over the edge of the curb was more than I could handle. Not to mention that it was hot and I felt so terrible looking at him at the end of a run and he had sweat trickling down his face from under his helmet. Oh well. I have my sights set on a different half marathon this year, the Paul Reese Memorial Run in Clarksburg. It's the week before my birthday which gives me approximately ten weeks to train for it. Perfect.

In other non-running related news, my brother-in-law is getting married this weekend. The past year has gone by super fast and not without it's share of drama. There have been a few disagreements over the things that they have opted to do and admittedly some catty behavior on my part. In the end though, these past few weeks I've realized that I have just been displaying one of my least favorable traits. I am an incredibly envious person. And instead of dealing with the envy and moving on, I hold on to it for dear life and dwell on it until it builds into this festering chip on my shoulder. Really not pretty. So for the past few weeks I've been working really hard to overcome this envy that I have for this woman, this wedding, this entire situation. And yesterday I came clean to her and told her how I felt and apologized for any hard feelings that may have resulted. It's difficult to keep focusing on the beauty of a situation when you are constantly dwelling over how you wish you had that opportunity. It's difficult to not focus on the fact that every situation is different. It's difficult to say, they've waited ten years longer than you did to get married, of course their wedding is going to be a little more (okay, a lot more) elaborate than yours. I have always had a hard time dealing with envy. This girl just seems to have it all...the college degree and career, the crafty creativity, the relationship with her family...and I had a hard time coming to grips with the fact that that's a GOOD thing for my brother-in-law to have in his life. After talking with her for several hours yesterday I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I feel so liberated! Like I can finally be truly happy for them, because I am, but it was always overshadowed by that stupid green-eyed monster.

ALSO, I am looking forward to receiving and reviewing a copy of a new book within the next few weeks. Keep your eye out for my review!

1 comment:

  1. Good for your!

    And you have to remember, that to so many people YOU have it all! You have a man that idolizes and loves you, 2 awesome, healthy, excited kids, a house that is YOURS to do with whatever you want, more creativity and craftiness than you think you do (Hello, cactus and hand designed kitchen decor!), Fabulous hair, a connection in the community and on and on and on. While you may not have had the benefit of the most elaborate wedding, you have accomplished so much in the last 10 years.