Well it's turned out to be a pretty busy month for us! So busy, all my running plans flew right out the window. Probably somewhere along Highway 128 last week. Maybe at my baby brother's graduation which was followed by a barbecue hosted at my house. Darn that delicious potato salad and ice cream cake. When we returned from our camping trip, I had gained four pounds back. Grr. I was hoping that with all the walking around we did I at least kind of balanced out the cupcakes and extra calories that come with beer battered halibut and bacon wrapped albacore. Yeeeaaaaaaahhh, not so much.
I started off this week right, with two miles on Monday and three miles yesterday. Nothing today, not yet anyway. The days are getting hotter and hotter and I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to get any mileage in unless I do it first thing in the morning before anyone gets up. Yesterday was AWESOME. I had my doubts, especially when just a few yards into it, I experienced ponytail fail. My hair is pretty thick and rambunctious, and when I tried to tighten the hair tie, it snapped in half. So there I was standing on the side of the road, looking like a lost lion/runner/flower child trying to figure out what to do. Tied the dang thing back together and luckily it held. I kept telling myself, 'three miles, three miles, three miles'. At around the one mile mark, I felt like quitting already. For whatever reason I started thinking of a few years ago when a co-worker was telling me how he makes his candied yams. He said that he adds butter until he thinks he can't possibly add more, and then he adds more. I thought about how my life was like that in a lot of ways. How I didn't think I could possibly eat another bite, and yet I did. And how I couldn't possibly weigh any more, and holy cow, I did. Why haven't I ever used that theory for the positive side of my life? For once, why can't I just go the extra step? So my new motto is "When you think you can't possibly go any further, go further." So I pushed it yesterday. Pushed it past the jackass truck drivers honking their air horns and that one passenger that actually hung out the window and yelled at me (truly, I swooned). Pushed it until I hit the 1.5 mile mark where I could finally turn around. Pushed it all the way until I started wheezing and decided that I had made it close enough to 3 miles to start cooling down. My husband thanked me for that, said that he would not be happy to hear that I collapsed somewhere along West Capitol. =o)
I can't wait for October 2nd when I can truly put myself to the test and finish the half marathon that I am training for. It will be 13.1 miles of pure torture I'm sure, but I can't wait to have that sense of accomplishment that will accompany crossing the finish line. I especially can't wait to have rights to put a 13.1 sticker on my car! Fifteen weeks to go....
Monday, June 21, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Another week...
So here we are, the first of June. The weather still doesn't feel like a Sacramento summer. It's up in the 80s finally, but nowhere near typical temperatures. Jacob and I ran together yesterday. It was really nice to have some motivation right there with me, pushing me until the very end. I think I have created this mentality that if it hurts, I should just stop. And not like ouch that hurts but like I'm pretty uncomfortable. How am I going to ever push myself if I just keep quitting? I'm really only quitting on myself and not giving myself the benefit of the doubt. So following him yesterday down West Capitol, it became a mental game. Follow him, you can do this. Side cramp? "You think that kid from Washington that ran 24 hours didn't have side cramps? C'mon he pushed through it, so can you!" Sore legs? "You don't think that marathon runners have sore legs? Get over it!" It was an exhausting run, but I felt totally awesome afterward. And Jacob was motivated enough to actually get out of bed early this morning and run again by himself while I got Isaiah ready for school.
So my face....I'm pretty fair complected. My face becomes ridiculously red when I run. Seriously. If you see a tomato with legs and frizzy hair running in my town, it's probably me. Why don't any of the other runners that I see have red faces? They glide by with their short shorts and long lean legs glistening in the sun. You can see every muscle in their legs contracting as every stride hits just perfectly. Their breathing looks even and they make it look absolutely effortless. Me? I plod along, every breath like I'm gasping in the middle of the Sahara. My pants, because I'm not feeling shorts-worthy yet, are more often than not stuck in the tongue of my shoe. My face is red as a tomato. My hair is fuzzy and sticking out in a million different directions. And yesterday, just because I wasn't feeling self-conscious enough, my underwear refused to stay put, so I felt like I had a wedgie the whole time. (The good news about this is that that means I think my butt is shrinking wooohooo!!)
I figure that if I'm putting myself out there now, pushing myself now, maybe someday in the near future I will be that gliding runner that makes the sport look effortless. For now though I remain a newbie runner, still finding my stride, still trying to figure it all out. And I'm ok with that because at least I'm out there. Right?
So my face....I'm pretty fair complected. My face becomes ridiculously red when I run. Seriously. If you see a tomato with legs and frizzy hair running in my town, it's probably me. Why don't any of the other runners that I see have red faces? They glide by with their short shorts and long lean legs glistening in the sun. You can see every muscle in their legs contracting as every stride hits just perfectly. Their breathing looks even and they make it look absolutely effortless. Me? I plod along, every breath like I'm gasping in the middle of the Sahara. My pants, because I'm not feeling shorts-worthy yet, are more often than not stuck in the tongue of my shoe. My face is red as a tomato. My hair is fuzzy and sticking out in a million different directions. And yesterday, just because I wasn't feeling self-conscious enough, my underwear refused to stay put, so I felt like I had a wedgie the whole time. (The good news about this is that that means I think my butt is shrinking wooohooo!!)
I figure that if I'm putting myself out there now, pushing myself now, maybe someday in the near future I will be that gliding runner that makes the sport look effortless. For now though I remain a newbie runner, still finding my stride, still trying to figure it all out. And I'm ok with that because at least I'm out there. Right?
Friday, May 28, 2010
Bella, the truck slayer (aka: my dog)
Yesterday was a good day. I feel like I got a lot of stuff accomplished that I wanted done. Jacob got off of work a little earlier than usual and he asked me if I wanted to take my run by myself since it had stopped raining. I jumped at the opportunity and he said that as long as I took Bella with me, I could run wherever I wanted.
Bella is our lovable, huggable, ginormous American Bulldog. She is roughly 100 lbs of pure muscle. Don't mess with her. Or me, when she's around.
So off we went. As I started running, she was on the inside of me, catching sniffs of the plants we were cruising past....until a diesel truck zoomed past us. This apparently was a threat, and Bella must squash it. So she charges it, broadsiding me, nearly taking me out at the knees. That right there almost ended the run. But I didn't want to waste my chance, so continued on. Every vehicle larger than a standard pickup truck caused an issue with her. She wanted to jump at all of them and in a few cases attempted to balls-out sprint after them. This is not conducive to maintaining a steady pace or stride. After one mile out, we headed back home.
Being that this weather is completely bizarre (it poured for a few hours before we went out), I didn't know how exactly I should dress for this little outing. Running pants, tanktop, and long sleeved running shirt were my final decision. I figured this would be a safe bet. By the time we made it home, I was sweating like a pig. Between the run and constant tugging on the leash, I got a whole body workout! I feel good today, and looking forward to the 2 miles again this afternoon.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Hello, Mother Nature?
I am absolutely mind boggled by this insane weather. It's snowing in Truckee and I just heard that a nearby ski resort is opening it's lifts for -get this- Memorial Day weekend! Hellloooo-o, do I live in California or what? It's nice that my PG&E bill will continue to be nice and low due to lack of a/c use, but a little bit ridiculous that I sent my kid to school in his winter jacket today. Next week he is supposed to have Water Fun Day to celebrate the end of the school year but I don't think I'll be sending him his water play clothes if it continues to be this cold. Thaaat's how I want to start the summer- take my kid to the E.R because of hypothermia. C'mon now.
So yesterday's run was interesting. We thought that maybe just maybe I could do the run with the double stroller with just one kid in it. So I hauled it down, got Justice bundled up and buckled in and off we went. Right away, I knew this would be a problem. The handles on the dang thing are too high and too wide to be comfortable for me. The front wheel? It doesn't swivel so you have to push the whole front end up in the air to turn. The thing weighs about 500 lbs, plus the 30 lb toddler and her baby that she insisted we bring along. Long story short, I got the 2 miles in, although I was cursing under my breath the whole time. I started off a little overzealous, being that I was pushing the stroller for the first time ever, the wind was in my face, and my asthma is ever-present and posing more of an issue due to this lingering cold. This weekend we are heading to Once Upon A Child and trading it in. Isaiah is too big and heavy to ride in it now anyway, and the 30 lb weight difference leaves it very unbalanced and difficult to manuever.
I am feeling optimistic about things. I feel like I got a lot accomplished yesterday with the catch-up stuff around the house that has gone to the wayside while I was busy working 50 million hours a week. There's a lot more to be done, a lot more to be organized and gone through, but I feel really good. Let me tell you, it was awesome last night to have a hot dinner (pork chops, broccoli, and mashed potatoes) and a cold beer cracked open for Jacob when he walked in the door, and I know that he appreciated it too.
Well, now that I've done my cracked out SuperWoman typing for the day, I've used up my time allotted for internet while Justice naps, so off I go to tackle another organizational nightmare!!!
So yesterday's run was interesting. We thought that maybe just maybe I could do the run with the double stroller with just one kid in it. So I hauled it down, got Justice bundled up and buckled in and off we went. Right away, I knew this would be a problem. The handles on the dang thing are too high and too wide to be comfortable for me. The front wheel? It doesn't swivel so you have to push the whole front end up in the air to turn. The thing weighs about 500 lbs, plus the 30 lb toddler and her baby that she insisted we bring along. Long story short, I got the 2 miles in, although I was cursing under my breath the whole time. I started off a little overzealous, being that I was pushing the stroller for the first time ever, the wind was in my face, and my asthma is ever-present and posing more of an issue due to this lingering cold. This weekend we are heading to Once Upon A Child and trading it in. Isaiah is too big and heavy to ride in it now anyway, and the 30 lb weight difference leaves it very unbalanced and difficult to manuever.
I am feeling optimistic about things. I feel like I got a lot accomplished yesterday with the catch-up stuff around the house that has gone to the wayside while I was busy working 50 million hours a week. There's a lot more to be done, a lot more to be organized and gone through, but I feel really good. Let me tell you, it was awesome last night to have a hot dinner (pork chops, broccoli, and mashed potatoes) and a cold beer cracked open for Jacob when he walked in the door, and I know that he appreciated it too.
Well, now that I've done my cracked out SuperWoman typing for the day, I've used up my time allotted for internet while Justice naps, so off I go to tackle another organizational nightmare!!!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
That's all she wrote- not really.
Today was the last day. Our "Series Finale". It was so odd logging off of my computer for the very last time, looking back to make sure everything was locked for the last time, driving out of that parking lot for the last time. Saying bye to them...but not being able to say, "see ya tomorrow". I miss them already. Even though a few of the girls have been gone for a few weeks already, it was difficult to know that there wouldn't be the instant communicator to chit-chat through or say good morning. Just like that, everything has changed. I have to admit that it was nice running my errands. I felt like a real-life grown up- dropping the dry cleaning off, returning books to the library, returning a movie, picking up some pictures, and grocery shopping. All during the day!! Dinner was done by six and the kids were bathed by 7:30. Jacob is in the kitchen playing chess with Isaiah while Justice plays cheerleader. What a bittersweet day it's been.
Tomorrow is supposed to kick-start my official half marathon training. Lucky me, it's been raining pretty much non-stop since about three pm. And I'm still feeling the trailing chest tightness that comes with every single cold I have. It's two miles on the calendar for tomorrow. If I have to take it very slow, so be it. I am determined to get out there and follow the training as closely as I possibly can. If I have to change the order in which the workouts are done, I don't care, as long as I get them in. I have written out my next twelve weeks' workouts on the calendar in my room so I don't forget and I don't have an excuse. It's on the calendar, so it must be done. I'll keep you all posted, wish me luck!
Tomorrow is supposed to kick-start my official half marathon training. Lucky me, it's been raining pretty much non-stop since about three pm. And I'm still feeling the trailing chest tightness that comes with every single cold I have. It's two miles on the calendar for tomorrow. If I have to take it very slow, so be it. I am determined to get out there and follow the training as closely as I possibly can. If I have to change the order in which the workouts are done, I don't care, as long as I get them in. I have written out my next twelve weeks' workouts on the calendar in my room so I don't forget and I don't have an excuse. It's on the calendar, so it must be done. I'll keep you all posted, wish me luck!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Heartbreak in the most raw sense
So I don't mean to be a buzzkill. I hope everyone's weekend is lovely. We here in our clan have a cold. A runny nosed, scratchy throated, energy draining cold. But we are moving along nonetheless.
Today is the anniversary of possibly the saddest day of my life. I've had some sad ones, but this was emotionally devastating to me and my entire family. Those near to us felt our pain and showed amazing support. Let me start from the beginning.
May 23, 2009: For Mother's Day I bought four tickets to a hula production taking place in Vacaville. We picked up my mom and dad at around 4 and headed down to the show which started at 5:30 pm. The kids were with my mother-in-law; it was a wonderful, stress-free, adult night out. The show was incredible. My hula sisters were amazing. We headed home, chatting happily about the things that we saw and felt while we were watching the show. Jacob and I had plans after the show to go catch a movie with a friend of ours, taking full advantage of the kid-free evening. Little did we know that our plans would change, and our lives would never be the same.
After dropping Mom at home at close to 9 pm, we got home and started looking online for movie times. The house phone rang and to my surprise it was my mom. She proceeded to tell me that when they got home they had a message on the answering machine from a hospital in Tuolumne County. My younger sister had been involved in a head-on collision at 5:30 pm that afternoon. She and her fiancee Nicholas were taking my niece and nephew on a road trip to Yosemite. They would not reach their destination that day. On highway 120, a man crossed a double yellow line to illegally pass and hit their vehicle head on. My sister says that she doesn't remember anything after the initial sight of the other vehicle cresting the hill in their lane. I think it's better that way. I can only imagine the things that her mind is protecting her from.
Nicholas, my sister's 20 year old fiancee was killed instantly upon impact. My niece Christina, who was only two and a half, was also a victim of this terrible accident. It was so difficult to see my younger sister going through so much pain that I could not protect her from. She lost her love and her heart. Her daughter and her fiancee, both such huge parts of her life that cannot ever be returned. She herself suffered from a broken hand, shattered kneecap, and multiple bruises and lacerations. My nephew somehow emerged unscathed.
The weeks following the accident were a whirlwind of activity. Jacob and I made ourselves busy planning a memorial for Christina up here. Thanks to all the generous financial contributions by my co-workers and several other kind souls, we were able to hold a very simple but gorgeous memorial service. I believe that in our darkest hours, we are allowed to see the light in others. The kindness of those near to us and even perfect strangers was amazing and truly reflects the goodness of humanity.
I think of them each day, wondering...Random thoughts. On the 23rd of each month, I stop for pause when I realize that yet another month has passed. Today is the 23rd of May again, a day that to me will be never the same. My life will never be the same. I can't see a White Dodge Intrepid without thinking of the pictures of the car after the accident. I think of Christina and Nicholas all the time. I can only imagine the way my sister feels.
For a long time after the accident I felt guilty that I still had my daughter, and I could tell that it hurt my sister too. I would see her hug Justice and squeeze her just a little bit longer than normal. Now Justice is almost the same age that Christina was when she passed away, and my emotions are a turbulent mess. We will get through this. People trudge through much worse every day. I just wish it wasn't us. I wish my sister had gotten married in March 2010 like they were planning. I wish my niece were still around to play with the rest of her cousins.
So here's my wish to you. Live each day in love with life. Don't live in the past, live in the present. Love hard, laugh loud and often. You never know what could be beyond that crest in the hill.
Today is the anniversary of possibly the saddest day of my life. I've had some sad ones, but this was emotionally devastating to me and my entire family. Those near to us felt our pain and showed amazing support. Let me start from the beginning.
May 23, 2009: For Mother's Day I bought four tickets to a hula production taking place in Vacaville. We picked up my mom and dad at around 4 and headed down to the show which started at 5:30 pm. The kids were with my mother-in-law; it was a wonderful, stress-free, adult night out. The show was incredible. My hula sisters were amazing. We headed home, chatting happily about the things that we saw and felt while we were watching the show. Jacob and I had plans after the show to go catch a movie with a friend of ours, taking full advantage of the kid-free evening. Little did we know that our plans would change, and our lives would never be the same.
After dropping Mom at home at close to 9 pm, we got home and started looking online for movie times. The house phone rang and to my surprise it was my mom. She proceeded to tell me that when they got home they had a message on the answering machine from a hospital in Tuolumne County. My younger sister had been involved in a head-on collision at 5:30 pm that afternoon. She and her fiancee Nicholas were taking my niece and nephew on a road trip to Yosemite. They would not reach their destination that day. On highway 120, a man crossed a double yellow line to illegally pass and hit their vehicle head on. My sister says that she doesn't remember anything after the initial sight of the other vehicle cresting the hill in their lane. I think it's better that way. I can only imagine the things that her mind is protecting her from.
Nicholas, my sister's 20 year old fiancee was killed instantly upon impact. My niece Christina, who was only two and a half, was also a victim of this terrible accident. It was so difficult to see my younger sister going through so much pain that I could not protect her from. She lost her love and her heart. Her daughter and her fiancee, both such huge parts of her life that cannot ever be returned. She herself suffered from a broken hand, shattered kneecap, and multiple bruises and lacerations. My nephew somehow emerged unscathed.
The weeks following the accident were a whirlwind of activity. Jacob and I made ourselves busy planning a memorial for Christina up here. Thanks to all the generous financial contributions by my co-workers and several other kind souls, we were able to hold a very simple but gorgeous memorial service. I believe that in our darkest hours, we are allowed to see the light in others. The kindness of those near to us and even perfect strangers was amazing and truly reflects the goodness of humanity.
I think of them each day, wondering...Random thoughts. On the 23rd of each month, I stop for pause when I realize that yet another month has passed. Today is the 23rd of May again, a day that to me will be never the same. My life will never be the same. I can't see a White Dodge Intrepid without thinking of the pictures of the car after the accident. I think of Christina and Nicholas all the time. I can only imagine the way my sister feels.
For a long time after the accident I felt guilty that I still had my daughter, and I could tell that it hurt my sister too. I would see her hug Justice and squeeze her just a little bit longer than normal. Now Justice is almost the same age that Christina was when she passed away, and my emotions are a turbulent mess. We will get through this. People trudge through much worse every day. I just wish it wasn't us. I wish my sister had gotten married in March 2010 like they were planning. I wish my niece were still around to play with the rest of her cousins.
So here's my wish to you. Live each day in love with life. Don't live in the past, live in the present. Love hard, laugh loud and often. You never know what could be beyond that crest in the hill.
Friday, May 21, 2010
FINALLY!
This morning Jacob had to be at work by six. Naturally, that meant that I was up super early with him while he banged around the bedroom getting himself ready. After he left I was torn- what should I do with my time?? I went back and forth wondering if I should just go back to sleep for the few precious minutes OR if I should get my a$$ out of bed and take the dog for a run. Just as I decided to go back to sleep, my phone buzzed on the nightstand. It was my daily email from Runner's World with my inspirational quote of the day. Well, that did it. Up I went, pulling on my clothes in record time. After waking up my sister to tell her that I was leaving, I hooked Bella up and off we went.
I'm sure my neighbors appreciated all of their dogs going crazy as we cruised down the block. It was like they were doing the wave for us, how sweet. And then as we hit the track at the park, the people who backed up the park all seemd to have dogs as well. And let me tell ya, they were super excited about us being there. Bella hasn't been to the park in a while so she had to stop and smell every single thing we passed. Trees, flowers, small patches of weeds...Luckily I have a really long leash so I could keep going and she would come trailing along behind me. We did about a mile around the track and it was time for me to get home and wake up my son.
I love running in the morning! It was a great way to get my blood pumping and once I got home I felt like I was doing everything at SuperMom speed! His lunch was made in the blink of an eye, and I even had time to fold the two loads of laundry I didn't get to last night! I feel more awake today than I have in a really long time, even though I didn't get a whole of sleep.
Today is kind of a rough day. It's the last wave of people leaving (well it's just one person, but whatever) before the last of us depart. Thinking about it is incredibly sad. My friends for so long are not going to be a part of my everyday life any more. The people who could read me like a book, who laughed at my goofy faces and antics will be with a new group of people. I am really looking forward to staying home with the kids and TRAINING. But I am very sad to be closing the book on this chapter of my life; one that is filled with laughter and love and stress and recovery.
I'm sure my neighbors appreciated all of their dogs going crazy as we cruised down the block. It was like they were doing the wave for us, how sweet. And then as we hit the track at the park, the people who backed up the park all seemd to have dogs as well. And let me tell ya, they were super excited about us being there. Bella hasn't been to the park in a while so she had to stop and smell every single thing we passed. Trees, flowers, small patches of weeds...Luckily I have a really long leash so I could keep going and she would come trailing along behind me. We did about a mile around the track and it was time for me to get home and wake up my son.
I love running in the morning! It was a great way to get my blood pumping and once I got home I felt like I was doing everything at SuperMom speed! His lunch was made in the blink of an eye, and I even had time to fold the two loads of laundry I didn't get to last night! I feel more awake today than I have in a really long time, even though I didn't get a whole of sleep.
Today is kind of a rough day. It's the last wave of people leaving (well it's just one person, but whatever) before the last of us depart. Thinking about it is incredibly sad. My friends for so long are not going to be a part of my everyday life any more. The people who could read me like a book, who laughed at my goofy faces and antics will be with a new group of people. I am really looking forward to staying home with the kids and TRAINING. But I am very sad to be closing the book on this chapter of my life; one that is filled with laughter and love and stress and recovery.
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